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Pharmacy Links

SUPER MARITAL SEX/CRASHING CARTS AND REBORN HEARTS: SCARING LIFE INTO A MARRIAGE

18th May 2009

“Hurry!” screamed the wife. “My God, can’t you hurry?” They could not hear her screams, but the medical team could see her frantic gestures as they pushed the life-saving cart toward her husband’s hospital room.

The husband and wife had lived together for years. They had raised children, cats, assorted rodents, developed their careers, and now did daily battle in the wars of their children’s adolescence. They had faced many struggles and pressures, even tried to rekindle the failing sexual energy in their marriage, but they had never considered the possibility of a premature end to their life together.

“Oh God! Please hurry!” she yelled one more time before turning to scan the monitor at her husband’s bedside for any sign of life. She was praying for their marriage, just one more chance to be with him, to love and hold him. Perhaps too late, she had been startled into the realization that her marriage was the only thing that meant anything. The cards and flowers from friends and colleagues that filled the room seemed now to be reminders of the distractions that always seemed to dominate, to rob the time this husband and wife had for one another. And now, there would be no time left.

As if to shout down the hopeless, whistling drone of the monitor, she screamed at her unconscious husband. “Carl! Carl! They’re coming, darling. Hold on, damn you, hold on!”

The medical team resembled a group of urgently serious clowns trying to control their wagon of magic tricks. But now the wagon began to control them, just as this wife’s life had controlled her. The wife, doctors, nurses, other patients, and visitors all stopped to watch as the cart first wobbled, then smashed on its side on the tile floor, scattering its cargo.

After the crash, the hospital was silent. The wife felt more alone than ever before, too late in her prayers for a second chance to love, really love, her husband and to love, really love, her marriage.

The stillness of despair and hopelessness was broken by a faint beeping sound. The wife’s eyes caught those of one of the nurses. In an unspoken language, these two strangers shared the hope that this crisis was transforming itself into a miracle.

The wife turned slowly toward the monitor, afraid that any sudden movement might frighten away the uncertain sign of life. She watched as the monitor first showed sharp, large curves followed by the steady peaks and valleys. Even her untrained eyes knew those blips indicated that life had returned to her husband. She stood motionless, chilled, as the screen of the monitor blurred through the tears in her eyes.

The wife was startled to awareness by the medical team now crowding toward her husband. The frantic work on the doctors and nurses seemed more cultural right than necessary intervention, a formal celebration of the fact that her husband’s heart and their marriage had been scared back to life by the crash of the cart. Her husband would survive in spite of, perhaps because of, this strange turn of events.

Stop. Before you read further about this couple’s second chance at marriage, claim your own second chance for your marriage. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Go and get your spouse, call her or him at work, summon him or her from the lawn work, from cleaning the basement or repairing the faucet that will always leak anyway, and take his or her hand. Hold on now while you can, and ask each other these questions. “Why are we married? What are ‘we’ for anyway?” You got married, now how about really being married? Reread this little story about the couple in the hospital and talk about your own marital priority. Don’t wait. Start now. Plan to read and share this book together. I have seen hundreds of couples who have waited too long, who have missed their chance for a super marriage. Please don’t miss yours.