Dropping out: Some young people withdraw not only from school or life, but from sex. They feel unaccepted or undesirable, or their parents overtly or covertly convey a message of sex as unimportant or unacceptable. The young person then seeks all fulfillment outside of sexuality. As dangerous as focusing exclusively on sexuality, this type of adjustment is tolerated by schools and society. The person may look for meaning through cultism. He or she may become overinvolved in isolated activities such as working at the computer, watching television, playing video games or the recendy popular so-called adventure games that seem to become a substitute reality. Young people may look to a pseudoreligiosity, reborn before they have had their full chance to have been born at all. We often are on the alert for “hypersexuality” and promiscuousness, but we should be equally vigilant as parents for our tendency to keep our children delightfully benign Peter Pans, desexualized, alone, and afraid to reach out to others for pleasure and intimacy.

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