When Can I Start Giving Back for the Help I Received?

In order to maximize your own recovery, you should wait a year or so before you formally become involved in a program to help other cancer survivors.

Many situations will arise where you are called on for advice or support by newly diagnosed patients or families of a cancer patient. You may feel obligated to help because

• people helped you when you were sick

• you empathize with the distress of a newly diagnosed patient

• you do not want the caller to feel abandoned

Whether or not you make yourself available and how deeply you become involved must be decided on a day-by-day and case-by-case basis. Factors to consider include

• how comfortable you feel with your own situation

• how many physical or emotional problems of your own you are dealing with

• how many people are calling on you

• how many other responsibilities you have

• how tired you are

• how much time you have

• how great the needs of the person requesting help are

• how you feel after you help others

Wait a few weeks or months to help others if, right now, talking to others leaves you exhausted, fearful, or distraught and unable to sleep. You must balance your physical and emotional needs against the needs of your family and the needs of the person requesting help. For a while you have to protect yourself from too much avoidable emotional stress. Other people may not recognize that you have depleted reserves, that you are still dealing with your own issues, or that helping others is especially draining if you do not have much distance from your own cancer experience.

Dealing with someone else’s cancer is a complicated task. For everyone’s sake, bear in mind that you are not a mental health professional and should not burden yourself with a situation better handled by someone with training. It is possible that you are still dealing with unresolved issues related to your own cancer that could be reopened by the relationship with a newly diagnosed patient. You need to be aware of your own stage of emotional recovery in order to best serve someone else.

The best way you can help everyone is to take care of yourself. There will be plenty of opportunities to help others when the time is right for you.

Won’t I Feel Guilty If I Don’t Help Someone Else?

Your top priority at this time is to recover as safely and quickly as possible. If someone else’s needs are too great for you to handle now, letting someone else take care of the person’s needs is the best decision you can make for everyone’s sake. You can help others by referring them to services and people who are in a position to help.

*168/32/5*

Related Posts:

• YOUR CANCER YOUR LIFE – RIGHT TO MORE THAN ONE OPINION (DON’T BE SHY!)
• AFTER CANCER: RELIEVING PAIN
• AFTER CANCER: RECURRENCE
• AFTER CANCER: WHAT IF I FEEL ANGRY?
• AFTER CANCER: CANCER INFORMATION ON TV AND NEWSPAPERS. TRAVEL